Director: Takao Okawara
Starring: Tetsuya Bessho, Satomi Kobyashi
Genre: Kaiju (monster)
Year: 1992
Release: HK Universe
Since the series has been rebooted, we need a new Mothra now. None too-dissimilar from the origins of the original, due to deforestation, a storm, caused by a comet hitting the earth, caused a huge landslide on remote pacific island, Infant Island. This exposes a giant egg. The company that owns said island, decides to bring it to Japan, as an attraction, and blackmails an Indiana-Jones ripoff archaeologist (In jail in Thailand, for indy-type pillaging) to bring it back. Also along for the ride, is some doris, who happens to be his ex-wife, co-incindently. The comet also woke up Godzilla, and Battra, a kind of evil Mothra. Handily, the Cosmos twins are on hand, to explain all this, and look devilishly cute in their little pink dresses. The egg is being towed across the sea, when 'zilla appears, egg hatches, and there's a quick fight with larvae state mothra. The upshot of all this is, Mothra and Battra have a fight, Godzilla shows up, in order to save earth from him, the 2 flyers team up, and, with the aid of a ferris wheel, fuck g-man back into the sea, from whence he came. Battra gets wasted in the process, but it turns out that he was waiting to save earth from a giant comet that is going to hit, so Mothra heads off to do it.
A good one this, there's a mix of kids stuff, and more adult-orientated stuff going on here. Mothra is, as ever, the good guy, the only one I can think of who's never been a baddy. Battra is unclear, as he fights Mothra. G-Man is himself, and fights everything. Some nice visuals going on here too. All in, well worth it.
Saturday 16 August 2008
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah
Director: Kazuki Omori
Starring: Kosuki Toyohari, Anna Nakagawa, Megumi Odaka
Genre: Kaiju (monster)
Year: 1991
Release: HK, Universe
3rd film in the 'Hensai' period of Godzilla flicks. The series rebooted in 1985, so here we have the big grey guy, fighting Ghidorah, with a new story behind them. Ghidorah is no longer a space monster, as was previously, this story has it being created by people from earths future. The story is convoluted, to say the least, but it goes something along these lines. In 1944, a batallion of Japanese soldiers are about to get defeated, on some remote Pacific island. A T-Rex appears, and saves them. No-one bothers to explain how it's survived for millions of years, on a small island, undetected, but there you go. Rexy does the biz, but gets a pasting by The Yank ships. In 1954, Yankland lets off an H-bomb, on the Bikini atoll. The island that rexy is on is nearby, and the radiation mutates him, creating duh duh duuuuuuuuhhhh, Godzilla. Now, cut to 1992. Some dudes, from the future, show up, claiming that Japan is totally destroyed in their time, they want to stop Godzilla before he gets a chance. They grab some folks from 92, head on back to 1944, and teleport rexy away, stopping the creation of Godzilla in the first place. Only, and here's where it really gets twisty, they leave behind 3 Dorats (cutesy winged things, from the future). These 3 get the blast instead, creating King Ghidorah. Ghidorah is under the future dudes control, and promptly starts laying waste to Japan. Japan had gotten too big, in the future, and controlled everything, these guy want to stop it from ever happening. Now, in order to fight Ghidorah, a weapon is needed, something capable of taking it on. How about a giant, radioactivly mutated T-Rex? Knowing how Godzilla was created, they send a nuclear sub to where future dudes teleported rexy, in order to irradiate him. Only, he's already mutated when they get there, (his creation is inevitable, see?), by other nuclear material, so, with the extra from the sub, he becomes even bigger than he did originally (uh-oh). Cue big scrap with Ghidorah. Thanks to one of their kind defecting, and some help, future dudes lose control of Ghidorah, and Godzilla gives him a pasting, chucking him in the sea. Thats Japan saved then, but, oh noes, now Godzilla is on the rampage. Future dudes are now dead, except for one, the defecter, so she heads to the future, finds Ghidorah, ressurects it, using cyborg technology, from the future, and comes back to stop Godzilla.
Aaaaaaaaaand breath.
The story is absolutly full of holes and paradoxes. Plus, outright baffeling moments, like why do future dudes bother with 1992, why not just go back to 44? Why does the one who defects even go? she must have known the intent for Ghidorah, and what they were up to, she released the Dorats, ffs. Anyway, despite the bonkers storyline (even by godzilla standards), this is still great fun. G-man is a badass all the way in this period, he doesn't fight Ghidorah to save humans, he fights it 'cos he's a tough nut who loves a scrap. During his rampage after, he meets face to face with a soldier from the island he saved. Giving a little nod of recognition, he then blasts him, full force. G-man is baaaaaad. Fun little way to while away 100-odd minutes.
Starring: Kosuki Toyohari, Anna Nakagawa, Megumi Odaka
Genre: Kaiju (monster)
Year: 1991
Release: HK, Universe
3rd film in the 'Hensai' period of Godzilla flicks. The series rebooted in 1985, so here we have the big grey guy, fighting Ghidorah, with a new story behind them. Ghidorah is no longer a space monster, as was previously, this story has it being created by people from earths future. The story is convoluted, to say the least, but it goes something along these lines. In 1944, a batallion of Japanese soldiers are about to get defeated, on some remote Pacific island. A T-Rex appears, and saves them. No-one bothers to explain how it's survived for millions of years, on a small island, undetected, but there you go. Rexy does the biz, but gets a pasting by The Yank ships. In 1954, Yankland lets off an H-bomb, on the Bikini atoll. The island that rexy is on is nearby, and the radiation mutates him, creating duh duh duuuuuuuuhhhh, Godzilla. Now, cut to 1992. Some dudes, from the future, show up, claiming that Japan is totally destroyed in their time, they want to stop Godzilla before he gets a chance. They grab some folks from 92, head on back to 1944, and teleport rexy away, stopping the creation of Godzilla in the first place. Only, and here's where it really gets twisty, they leave behind 3 Dorats (cutesy winged things, from the future). These 3 get the blast instead, creating King Ghidorah. Ghidorah is under the future dudes control, and promptly starts laying waste to Japan. Japan had gotten too big, in the future, and controlled everything, these guy want to stop it from ever happening. Now, in order to fight Ghidorah, a weapon is needed, something capable of taking it on. How about a giant, radioactivly mutated T-Rex? Knowing how Godzilla was created, they send a nuclear sub to where future dudes teleported rexy, in order to irradiate him. Only, he's already mutated when they get there, (his creation is inevitable, see?), by other nuclear material, so, with the extra from the sub, he becomes even bigger than he did originally (uh-oh). Cue big scrap with Ghidorah. Thanks to one of their kind defecting, and some help, future dudes lose control of Ghidorah, and Godzilla gives him a pasting, chucking him in the sea. Thats Japan saved then, but, oh noes, now Godzilla is on the rampage. Future dudes are now dead, except for one, the defecter, so she heads to the future, finds Ghidorah, ressurects it, using cyborg technology, from the future, and comes back to stop Godzilla.
Aaaaaaaaaand breath.
The story is absolutly full of holes and paradoxes. Plus, outright baffeling moments, like why do future dudes bother with 1992, why not just go back to 44? Why does the one who defects even go? she must have known the intent for Ghidorah, and what they were up to, she released the Dorats, ffs. Anyway, despite the bonkers storyline (even by godzilla standards), this is still great fun. G-man is a badass all the way in this period, he doesn't fight Ghidorah to save humans, he fights it 'cos he's a tough nut who loves a scrap. During his rampage after, he meets face to face with a soldier from the island he saved. Giving a little nod of recognition, he then blasts him, full force. G-man is baaaaaad. Fun little way to while away 100-odd minutes.
Tuesday 12 August 2008
The Princess Bride
Director: Rob Reiner
Starring; Carey Elwes; Mandy Pantakin, Andre The Giant, Robin Wright Penn
Genre; Comedy, adventure
Year; 1987
Release; UK Cable
Often overlooked, and somewhat underrated, this is a fun little satire. Full of subtle humour, but not many huge laughs. Excellent fun, and can be watched with the family. The little swipes at swashbuckling films are great.
Starring; Carey Elwes; Mandy Pantakin, Andre The Giant, Robin Wright Penn
Genre; Comedy, adventure
Year; 1987
Release; UK Cable
Often overlooked, and somewhat underrated, this is a fun little satire. Full of subtle humour, but not many huge laughs. Excellent fun, and can be watched with the family. The little swipes at swashbuckling films are great.
Sunday 10 August 2008
Blade Runner: Final Cut
Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer
Genre: Sci-Fi
Year: 1982
Release: UK Ultimate Collectors tin box
Ridley Scott's vision of a future that's cluttered, somewhat decayed, and seemingly permanently dark and wet, is a thing of beauty indeed. The whole environment looks jury-rigged, and created on the fly. Only very loosely based on Philip K Dick's novel, Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep, this is mainly the vision of Scott. In case you don't know, a group of latest generation, Nexus 6, 'replicants' (they're not androids, as such), have escaped, and are loose on Earth. Ford is the Blade Runner, cops who specialise in hunting them, called out of retirement, to catch them. Very philosophical in it's approach, this film is very dark, and full of deep, meaningful (and very quoteable) snippets and monlogues. Hauer gives the performance of his career, as the leader of the group. Ford is great as Decker, slightly vunerable, and not the invincible supercop that let this kind of film down so often. This version, the Final Cut, is the second re-do, of the film that more or less invented the Directors Cut. The DC is better than the theatrical release, imho. This is, basically, just the DC, with the violence cuts re-instated, and a load of continuity errors fixed. This release, however, has all 3, plus workprints, so, even if you're one of those weirdo's that prefer the theatrical release, it's in there.
Required viewing.
Starring: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer
Genre: Sci-Fi
Year: 1982
Release: UK Ultimate Collectors tin box
Ridley Scott's vision of a future that's cluttered, somewhat decayed, and seemingly permanently dark and wet, is a thing of beauty indeed. The whole environment looks jury-rigged, and created on the fly. Only very loosely based on Philip K Dick's novel, Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep, this is mainly the vision of Scott. In case you don't know, a group of latest generation, Nexus 6, 'replicants' (they're not androids, as such), have escaped, and are loose on Earth. Ford is the Blade Runner, cops who specialise in hunting them, called out of retirement, to catch them. Very philosophical in it's approach, this film is very dark, and full of deep, meaningful (and very quoteable) snippets and monlogues. Hauer gives the performance of his career, as the leader of the group. Ford is great as Decker, slightly vunerable, and not the invincible supercop that let this kind of film down so often. This version, the Final Cut, is the second re-do, of the film that more or less invented the Directors Cut. The DC is better than the theatrical release, imho. This is, basically, just the DC, with the violence cuts re-instated, and a load of continuity errors fixed. This release, however, has all 3, plus workprints, so, even if you're one of those weirdo's that prefer the theatrical release, it's in there.
Required viewing.
Thursday 7 August 2008
Life
Director; Ted Demme
Starring; Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence
Genre; Drama/ Comedy
Year; 1999
Release; UK Cable
Hmmmmm, this is odd. Eddie (3 good films and a voiceover) Murphy, and Martin (why am I famous?) Lawrence, team up in this comedy drama. Starting in 1932, the pair head on South, to pick up a truckload of hooch, get framed for murder, and sentanced to life imprisonment. Basically the film is about their life, on some kind of prison farm type deely. It's not really funny, it's rather cliche'd, rips off every other prison movie made, the ending is crap, and not a great deal really goes on.
Why do I like it? I caught it starting on cable, and couldn't drag myself away, and I'd seen it before.
Maybe it's Murphy, he is good at being Murphy, but I think that's the films major problem. The basic story is ok, and there's potential here. If Murphy could stop being Murphy and act ( he can, you know, it shows in small bursts), this could have been a really good film. It's certainly not Lawrence, never could get on with that git. I can't explain it, it's the best thing Murphy has done since Beverley Hills Cop, but that's not hard, as everything else (barring the Donkey voiceovers in Shrek, but they're Murphy being Murphy again) is turgid shite.
I know I have a passion for shit films, but thats stuff like Godzilla and chop socky. I should hate this, and I don't. It has something, what I don't know, but something.
Starring; Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence
Genre; Drama/ Comedy
Year; 1999
Release; UK Cable
Hmmmmm, this is odd. Eddie (3 good films and a voiceover) Murphy, and Martin (why am I famous?) Lawrence, team up in this comedy drama. Starting in 1932, the pair head on South, to pick up a truckload of hooch, get framed for murder, and sentanced to life imprisonment. Basically the film is about their life, on some kind of prison farm type deely. It's not really funny, it's rather cliche'd, rips off every other prison movie made, the ending is crap, and not a great deal really goes on.
Why do I like it? I caught it starting on cable, and couldn't drag myself away, and I'd seen it before.
Maybe it's Murphy, he is good at being Murphy, but I think that's the films major problem. The basic story is ok, and there's potential here. If Murphy could stop being Murphy and act ( he can, you know, it shows in small bursts), this could have been a really good film. It's certainly not Lawrence, never could get on with that git. I can't explain it, it's the best thing Murphy has done since Beverley Hills Cop, but that's not hard, as everything else (barring the Donkey voiceovers in Shrek, but they're Murphy being Murphy again) is turgid shite.
I know I have a passion for shit films, but thats stuff like Godzilla and chop socky. I should hate this, and I don't. It has something, what I don't know, but something.
I Am Legend
Director; Francis Lawrence
Starring; Will Smith
Genre; Thriller
Year; 2007
Release; UK Warner (Blu Ray)
I'm no great fan of Mr Smith, so the prospect of a film consisting mostly of him was a worrying thing. Lets get this straight, I only watched this for a couple of reasons. One, I had a bad back, and couldn't be arsed to occupy myself in any meaningful way. Two, I have recently bought both a PS3, and a Sony Bravia HD LCD TV. This film was bundled, on Blu Ray, with the PS3, and is the only BR film I have. I wanted to see how the whole thing looked, on my posh telly. Great picture. Pity about the boring film. Not the first time this story has been filmed, but by far the most pointless attempt at it. The best thing I can say is at least Smith tried to play someone else, for once, and not just himself. They do attempt to tackle the psycological issues the situation would raise. But fail, badly. Huge sections of nothing much happens, followed by brief running, failing to catch deer, then nothing for some more. The effects of a decaying NY are good enough, but lack atmosphere, it's all just so sterile. Watch Omega Man instead, or Last Man On Earth, or even I Am Omega (cheap ripoff, brought to you by legendary auteurs Asylum, ripoff masters who also made Snakes On A Train, among others), is better than this. Actually, that's by far Asylums best film, and is a pretty decent take on the subject, although you have to make allowances for fuck all budget.
Starring; Will Smith
Genre; Thriller
Year; 2007
Release; UK Warner (Blu Ray)
I'm no great fan of Mr Smith, so the prospect of a film consisting mostly of him was a worrying thing. Lets get this straight, I only watched this for a couple of reasons. One, I had a bad back, and couldn't be arsed to occupy myself in any meaningful way. Two, I have recently bought both a PS3, and a Sony Bravia HD LCD TV. This film was bundled, on Blu Ray, with the PS3, and is the only BR film I have. I wanted to see how the whole thing looked, on my posh telly. Great picture. Pity about the boring film. Not the first time this story has been filmed, but by far the most pointless attempt at it. The best thing I can say is at least Smith tried to play someone else, for once, and not just himself. They do attempt to tackle the psycological issues the situation would raise. But fail, badly. Huge sections of nothing much happens, followed by brief running, failing to catch deer, then nothing for some more. The effects of a decaying NY are good enough, but lack atmosphere, it's all just so sterile. Watch Omega Man instead, or Last Man On Earth, or even I Am Omega (cheap ripoff, brought to you by legendary auteurs Asylum, ripoff masters who also made Snakes On A Train, among others), is better than this. Actually, that's by far Asylums best film, and is a pretty decent take on the subject, although you have to make allowances for fuck all budget.
Die Hard 4.0
Director; Len Wiseman
Starring; Bruce Willis
Genre; Action
Year; 2007
Release; UK Cable
I like the first 3 Die Hard films, great examples of how no brainer action films should be done. So I approached this with a certain expectation. Damn did I get let down. Watered down, for a lower rating, this lacks everything that made the earlier films so much fun. They even trim MClaines catchphrase down, what the fuck is that about? That Tim Elephant bloke is unconvincing and unscarey, and has seemingly had a charisma bypass. Maybe he should watch Alan Rickman in the first one, that's how to play the badguy. Interesting to see Kevin Smith in a film he didn't make, although he's playing a Star Wars obsessed nerd, so it's hardly a stretch for him. With the wet action, and missing swearing, it's just boring.
Starring; Bruce Willis
Genre; Action
Year; 2007
Release; UK Cable
I like the first 3 Die Hard films, great examples of how no brainer action films should be done. So I approached this with a certain expectation. Damn did I get let down. Watered down, for a lower rating, this lacks everything that made the earlier films so much fun. They even trim MClaines catchphrase down, what the fuck is that about? That Tim Elephant bloke is unconvincing and unscarey, and has seemingly had a charisma bypass. Maybe he should watch Alan Rickman in the first one, that's how to play the badguy. Interesting to see Kevin Smith in a film he didn't make, although he's playing a Star Wars obsessed nerd, so it's hardly a stretch for him. With the wet action, and missing swearing, it's just boring.
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